-
When God Redirects Your Dreams
I’ve always loved to sing.
It’s one of those deep joys that’s hard to explain — the kind that feels like a soul exhale. People have told me over the years, “You should sing on the worship team,” and honestly, it’s something I’ve quietly dreamed about. I imagined standing up there, offering my voice to God, helping others enter into His presence.
But last night, sitting in church, something shifted.
I felt God’s presence — not just in the worship, but in the quiet moments afterward. A tug. A whisper. A redirection. Not away from worship, but into something deeper. Something more personal. Something I didn’t expect.
It wasn’t the first time I’d felt drawn to this new calling. In fact, I remember expressing this exact desire years ago, when I was still living with my adoptive family. But instead of support, I was shut down immediately. Silenced. And that memory still stings.
Now, even though I feel God stirring something in me, I find myself hesitating.
Why? Because that old lie is still lurking in the shadows: You’re not good enough. Because rejection — especially when it comes from the people who were supposed to love you — has a way of sticking.
But here’s what I’m learning:
“The gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” — Romans 11:29
That means God hasn’t changed His mind about me. That the dreams He planted in my heart — whether to sing, write, teach, or serve — are still valid, even if others never saw them. That even if my path looks different than I imagined, it doesn’t make it any less holy.
Maybe my worship isn’t meant for the stage. God isn’t wasting my story. He’s repurposing it.
So if you’ve ever felt a calling get rerouted… If you’ve ever questioned your worth because someone else couldn’t see your potential… If you’re carrying old wounds that whisper “Don’t even try” — know this: You are not disqualified.
God still wants to use you. Maybe in ways you never expected. Maybe in ways that look quieter… but go deeper.
And maybe — just maybe — your healing is your ministry.
Want to follow along as I figure this out in real time?
You’re welcome here.
This space is for healing hearts, hidden gifts, and holy redirections.
-
When Healing and Motherhood Collide
There are moments in motherhood that bring out the very best in us — and the very worst. I didn’t understand why I was so triggered by my daughter’s meltdowns, why I shut down during conflict, or why I couldn’t feel fully present even though I deeply loved my babies.
It wasn’t until I began to truly heal that I saw it clearly: motherhood doesn’t hide our wounds — it exposes them. And that’s not a bad thing.
🌿 The Wounds I Carried
I entered motherhood carrying baggage I didn’t fully unpack.
- Adoption trauma.
- Childhood abuse.
- Years of survival-mode living.
I thought if I pushed it all down, I could build something new — something beautiful. But what’s buried alive doesn’t die. It leaks out in the yelling, the tears, the shame, and the exhaustion that no nap can fix.
✝️ Healing by the Grace of God
My healing journey hasn’t been easy, clean, or fast. I’ve sat in therapy. I’ve prayed through flashbacks. I’ve wept in the shower and worshipped in the chaos.
But I’ve also experienced the gentle hand of a healing God — a Father who doesn’t shame the broken girl in me, but restores her.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
🧡 My Children Are Not My Do-Over — They’re My Redemption
It hit me one day: I wasn’t failing. I was growing. Every time I break a generational pattern, I am mothering my children and re-mothering myself.
I used to feel ashamed that I had to learn how to love well. Now I thank God I get the chance to do it differently.
🌱 If You’re in the Middle…
To the mama who feels like she’s too broken to raise whole children — you are not too far gone.
Healing takes time. It takes courage. But it also brings joy. And with God’s help, you are already breaking chains.
Your motherhood is not ruined by your past — It’s redeemed by your yes to growth, grace, and God.
